TOP 5 LISBON GAY CHOICES

Can you believe it’s almost a year since we’ve been in Lockdown? Holy Moly, how time flies over here. When did we think 2020 was going to be THE YEAR? By now, the joke can tell it itself. And I think it’s time for me to tell you a bit more about the old habits and bring that little piece of nostalgia back.

There was this one night when this all happened, and yes, this is the tea honey, I wanted to feel that old gay fantasy on touring the day-and-night queer routine. Never knew I was ever going to write about this, but here it goes.

Picture it: Throwback to August 2019, a hot summer day, and I said to myself: “Let’s do it gal”, and I put on my makeup to go to Drag Taste. By then we were doing the Drag Queen Cooking Class, where we put our guests on drag and cook together this feast of 7 Portuguese traditional meals and we have fun all evening, from 6 pm to 11 pm, performing and laughing, eating and drinking loads, and I had already drunk a bit too much of sangria and I was in the mood to go out and party all night. If I only knew how this ended, I’d have done it again plenty more times. By the time the party ended, I was in an urge for a huge cocktail, so I got myself on a uber and drove myself to Bairro Alto, where all the Lisbon night begins, and directed myself to Friends Bairro Alto, a local gay bar (really famous indeed), where all the pop music plays, alongside with Brazilian funk, reggaeton, well, you’re getting the point. And I saw my gals there and went for a couple of drinks. And when I say a couple I mean a LOT. I danced for a while with this hot Aussie, and I suddenly was invited to go on vacations to Queensland, in a matter of seconds. I turned my back and never saw him again. I expected this would last longer, honestly.

Nonetheless, my gals said: let’s have a shot. And I completely forgot about the land down under sweetheart and we went straight to Pride Burlesque Bar to have some tequila and absinthe strikes down our stomachs, and let me tell you that were probably the best shots I’ve ever drunk in my life, or maybe I was just starstruck with the barman. I really can’t picture it now.

Straight to 40 e 1, really a nice vintage pub, I was feeling my teddy boy fantasy, I immediately asked for a Bacardi Mojito. I had to split it with my best squirrel that went with me because that was HUGE, but well, the bigger the better. I was just stopping by for a drink but I found an old college friend and we spent the whole time talking about our junior year, what we did and what we went through, and let me tell you, time flies and I don’t if it was already the drinks or I was having too much fun, but I couldn’t stop laughing thinking about those old days. Gave me some nostalgia, I confess, before I started doing drag I was a real party boy. WHY AM I LYING? I STILL AM. So let’s get the party started.

I was checking my phone when I suddenly saw that it was almost time for the Finalmente Show. And I said: “We need to go NOW”. I grew up on Finalmente. I was born there, in 2016, with a party city wig and chunky heels, and I lived my “Cher – Believe” fantasy. Oh, yes, I’m talking about myself and I didn’t even tell you what it was. It’s the oldest gay bar in town, fulfilled with Portuguese drag legends. If you’re up to pageant drag, the classic shows, very very very Spanish and french inspired, they’re THE BEST in the business, doing it for more than 40 years. I sat on the front row and of course, in the end, they called me on stage and started reading me for FILTH. It was hilarious, I still remember that one of the queens, Deborah de Krystall performed Ese Hombre by Rocio Jurado and I fell in love everytime I saw her doing it!

And if you think that this is it for the Lisbon night, you’re house down boots WRONG. There was still time to go to the oldest gay disco in town, TRUMPS CLUB LISBON, actually to see my drag draughter perform, and it was a Lady Gaga night, so I really had to go there! There are two dance floors in that disco, one for pop music and drag shows, and another one for the house lover gals. Iconic, Phenomenal and over the top! Trust me, I mean it! 

Back in the day i used to perform in Posh Club Lisbon, also a gay disco in Lisbon, with LOADS of brazilian funk and pop, and when i say those nights were full of GAGS and nonstop shows, I MEAN IT. My goodness, how I miss that. But better days will come, I ASSURE YOU.

I know that this seems all made-up so you can know all those places in Lisbon, but this actually happened. If I’m going to tell you how i arrived home? I guess not. Not because I don’t want to tell you, but actually because I can’t even remember.  

But one thing that still is on my mind all the time is the music. How I miss dancing. But right now I’m going to dance straight to bed and sleep, brush my teeth, by the way, I’ve been using that charcoal toothpaste and it’s actually phenomenal indeed, I went SHOOK with the results, totally approved.

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